An UnMerry Christmas
by NerdySkeleton
Summary: Despite the joyful season, Ghastly Bespoke feels nothing for it. That should really change, don't you think?


**Mortal Coil and Death Bringer spoilers!**

* * *

><p>Ghastly Bespoke lifts his head up from his arms and stares at the old document sitting on his desk. He tries to read through it again, but it doesn't go very well. He gives up and pushes it aside for another day.<p>

Perhaps he would try reading it again once Christmas was over. Yes, he'd head into his office December the Twenty-Sixth and get back to work.

He jerks back at the sudden sound of someone rapping at his office door. He sighs and gets up and opens it slowly.

Valkyrie Cain stands there, rocking back and forth on her feet, a big smile plastered on her face.

"Oh, hello, Valkyrie," Ghastly says quietly. "What brings you here? And where's Skulduggery?"

She shrugs and replies, "Can't I just come to see my favorite Elder without a purpose? And without Skulduggery?"

"I suppose, but how in the world did you get here without him? You can't drive, you'd be dead if you tried taking the Bentley yourself, and I surely doubt your parents drove you here."

Valkyrie rolls her eyes shrugs again. "Skulduggery got sidetracked by Madame Mist," she admitted. "She kind of hates me, so I slipped away to come bug you." She pauses and looks around his office with the papers scattered around it. "You should probably get out more, Ghastly. I'm pretty sure working on Christmas Day is the worst thing you could do to yourself."

This time, Ghastly shrugs. "I don't mind my work," he says. "Would you like to come in?"

Valkyrie nods and follows him inside. She sits down in the chair across from the large desk and huffs loudly.

"What is it?" Ghastly asks as he sits.

"My parents," Valkyrie simply states. "They won't relax about Christmas. It's Christmas, and they're cranky and upset with everything. That then makes Alice upset in general. I called Skulduggery to get me away from my house for a few hours tonight."

"You'll return soon, I hope?"

"Oh yeah. I just wanted to get away; you know."

"I wish it was that easy, Valkyrie," Ghastly sighs and looks off to the side. It is silent for a few minutes, but the noise of Valkyrie's cell phone goes off, and she quickly answers the call.

"What's up, Skulduggery?" she questions casually. Her face falls suddenly, and Ghastly becomes worried. "We'll be there!" she shouts and shuts off her phone. "Hurry, Skulduggery's being attacked."

"I'll get Ravel an-"

"No time!" Valkyrie shouts urgently. "We have to hurry up!"

The two burst from the office and tear through the Sanctuary hallways and run through the hardened doors. Valkyrie reaches outside first and stops abruptly, and Ghastly is barely able to stop running quick enough so he doesn't bump into her.

"Where is he?" Ghastly asks, scanning the surroundings for signs of Skulduggery.

"Oh, I'm all right, thank you," Skulduggery Pleasant says grandly from the left of them. They turn to him sharply and he waves casually.

"Skulduggery, what's goi-"

Ghastly tries speaking, but suddenly Valkyrie tackles him and disorients him briefly. He stumbles but regains himself, only to realize the duo has grabbed him by his two arms and are dragging him to the backseats of the Bentley.

"What are you doing!" Ghastly demands.

"It's for your own good, Ghastly," Valkyrie happily replies and opens the door to the Bentley. She helps Skulduggery push him into the car and makes sure that the door is immediately locked after they shut it firmly. Skulduggery slips into the driver's seat and Valkyrie takes her place at the passenger seat.

"Would you explain what is happening, Skulduggery?" he demands again. "This could be counted as treason, you know."

"Oh you won't press anything against us," the skeleton replies brightly. He pulls away from the curb and speeds off in the opposite direction. "And as Valkyrie said, this is for your own good."

"How is kidnapping me and pulling me away from important Sanctuary work good?"

Valkyrie whips around and glares at him hard. "Ghastly Bespoke, it's time you lightened up. Yes, we know. It's been a year."

"I honestly cannot tell what you're talking about, Valkyrie," Ghastly interrupts. "I am perfectly fine the way I am, thank you."

She shakes her head sadly and gives a slight smile and continues, "You're still hurting; we're all hurting. But you really can't let that affect you. Skulduggery and I have moved on and from it, and we've gotten over much tougher stuff. We have to accept this all."

Ghastly glares at her and turns to look out the window. "Let me out, Skulduggery."

"As your friend and as a responsible driver, I will not let you out. It would be dangerous to suddenly let you out of a moving car, wouldn't it?"

"Pull over."

"Can't do that either, Ghastly." He pauses and glances into the rearview mirror. "Valkyrie and I agree. You're sulking. Understandable, but you should accept what you have right now."

"Do not tell me to accept what can be fixed, Skulduggery Pleasant," Ghastly grumbles, annoyed and frustrated with their actions.

It's then silent. From the look on Ghastly's face, it seems like it'll be silent for a while. Skulduggery and Valkyrie share a sly glance at each other. Valkyrie stretches and turns to look out the window. Skulduggery keeps his eye sockets trained on the slick road.

And it's silent for so long.

Skulduggery breaks the silence when he pulls to the side of the road by a large market-type place. Valkyrie beams excitedly and gets out of the car quickly and beckons Ghastly out too. He slowly drags himself from the backseats and stalks behind Skulduggery, who falls into step next to Valkyrie. They lead the way into the entrance of a strange little market place. Tiny shops with strange little things were scatted around a huge plot of land in front of them.

"Where are we?" Ghastly asks.

"It's a flea market," Valkyrie answers. "They're set up all the time on the weekends, and they always offer for their regular sellers to show up on Christmas."

"We stumbled on it when we were chasing Scapegrace once," Skulduggery says. "Once we caught him in the crowd, dumped in back in the Bentley truck unconscious, Valkyrie begged and begged to have a look around. She made me take her back for her parents' and sister's Christmas gifts."

"This place is glorious," Valkyrie says and skips ahead a bit. "I dare you to not find something happy here."

"I'm not unhappy-" Ghastly starts to say, but Valkyrie runs off and Skulduggery shrugs and speeds off after her. Ghastly loses sight of them after a few seconds.

Alone, Ghastly figures he could turn around and sit back in the Bentley. He realizes it would probably get pretty cold after a few minutes though; it's old – you can't change that fact. He takes a step forward, but suddenly two little twin girls bump into his legs and fall to the floor. They gasp in shock and whimper a little. Ghastly apologizes quickly and bends down to help them up. They shyly accept his assistance and stand up on their little legs. He remains bent to their height.

"Sowwy," one girl says quietly. "We didn't see you there."

"It's okay, I don't mind," he replies and smiles.

"What's wrong with your face?" the other girl asks.

He barely flinches at the comment. Internally, he panics; he probably shouldn't be out in public in this kind of place with all of his scars…Then, an idea forms. He puts a finger to his lips quickly and reaches into his collar to touch the symbols on his neck. The waxy skin flows up and covers his scars, and the little girls gasp in amazement and shock.

"How did you do that!" one screams.

"Magic," Ghastly responds. "Don't tell anyone about it, okay?"

The two nod. Ghastly looks down and notices each of the little girls are carrying a pretty doll, holding onto them tightly by the wrists. With their other hands, the twins are holding each other.

"Are…you lost?" he asks tentatively, afraid of the answer. If they say yes, there is _no_ way he'll be able to turn down helping them.

"We ran off to pet a dog," one said. "Mommy was following us, but we got…lost."

"Yeah, we're wost," the other adds quietly.

Ghastly stands up and sighs, scanning the crowd quickly for a sign of Valkyrie or Skulduggery; maybe Valkyrie with her older-sister-knowledge would be able to handle the situation better than himself. Skulduggery probably wouldn't be much of a help, Ghastly decides, though.

"You don't have to help us, though," one says.

Ghastly rids himself of his thoughts and bends down again to their height. He smiles softly and says, "Who am I to turn down ladies lost and in danger?" He holds out his hands and they each grab one.

"I'm Sylvia," one says quietly. "My sister is named Katie."

"I'm…um, Ghastly," he adds rather lamely, unsure of what name to give to the girls. They giggle at his name momentarily, and then set their faces to determined little stares.

"I want to find mommy!" Sylvia says loudly and starts marching out in the opposite direction. Katie keeps her hand practically glued to Ghastly's as he follows Sylvia. Why he's following a little toddler through a flea market on Christmas Day, he is not sure.

Why he has not left in a huff he is also not sure.

Maybe it is the Christmas Spirit getting to him.

* * *

><p>Perhaps a good twenty minutes later, Mommy is found.<p>

Mommy, with long, messy, and slightly curly blonde hair. Mommy with a fitted jacket and boots. Mommy who doesn't seem like a mommy in Ghastly's eyes.

"Oh, my babies!" Mommy shouts happily. She bends and scoops her twins in her arms and spins them around in joy. Ghastly watches with hard eyes and without taking a breath.

"Don't run off again, please," she coos to the girls and smiles at them widely. They squirm from her arms and are then put down. Mommy steps up to Ghastly and shakes his hand firmly. "Thank you so much for bringing them back!"

"It…It was nothing, really."

"No, really. I can't thank you enough."

"It's perfectly all right," he says. "I couldn't say no to damsels in distress, could I?"

Mommy laughs and smiles big. "Is there anything we can do for you, Mr?"

"Um, Bespoke. Ghastly Bespoke. And no, it's perfectly all right, I swear. I really should be leaving soon anyway. I was dragged here against my will by my horrible friends. I'll need to find them soon."

Mommy frowns a little, and Ghastly breaks a little.

"Well okay, then," Mommy says. "Again, really, just thank you. Everyone needs something to live for, you know? I live for these little girls; I don't know what I would do without them." Her eyes mist slightly. "Sorry." She quickly regains herself. "I guess that's what Christmas can do to someone." She laughs if off.

"Mommy!" Katie begs and pulls her mother away.

"Say goodbye first!"

Sylvia and Katie run to Mommy and beam up at Ghastly widely. "Bye!" they shout in unison. "Thank you!"

"Come on, Mommy!" Sylvia shouts next.

Mommy laughs and is pulled away. Ghastly loses sight of them after a few minutes.

* * *

><p>"We need to leave."<p>

Valkyrie and Skulduggery look up from a box of strangle old toys and stare at Ghastly. They can tell from his eyes that he means it. He looks tired and distraught. Very unlike Ghastly, Skulduggery thinks as they trudge back to the Bentley. Valkyrie graciously offers the front seat to Ghastly, but he declines and sits in the back again. Skulduggery climbs to the driver's seat and revs the engine and drives on back.

"Valkyrie," Skulduggery questions after a good while of silence, "would you mind terrible if we just two stayed at Gordon's for the night?"

She shakes her head. "No, go right ahead. Just don't throw any wild Dead Men reunions or anything without me."

"Oh darn, that was my plan all along."

She laughs. "Are we still meeting there tomorrow?"

"Certainly."

They stop speaking and the car gains its silence again.

"I don't need to stay at Gordon's," Ghastly mutters.

"You look tired," Valkyrie chirps. "We're certainly not taking you back to the Sanctuary; you'd just try and do more work. And you and Skulduggery can exchange old man stories or whatever it is you do without me."

"We sit alone and wait for you to return," Skulduggery answers.

"I figured as much," she responds.

Ghastly cracks a faint smile.

He thinks back to what Mommy said: _"Everyone needs something to live for, you know?"_

Ghastly doesn't particularly live _for_ anything, but he's still living.

He ponders Mommy's statement probably far longer than one should.

* * *

><p>Ghastly and Skulduggery watch Valkyrie run from the Bentley and climb through her bedroom window. She waves to them from the window and disappears from their sight. A short and silent drive later, they arrive at Gordon's.<p>

Skulduggery enters the door with a flourish and calls out to the Echo Stone image of Gordon Edgley.

"Where's my niece?" is the first thing out of Gordon's mouth.

"Oh, Merry Christmas to you as well, Gordon," Skulduggery replies tiredly. "She's with her parents; she's fine."

"What are you two doing here?"

"We're doing all right, thanks for asking."

"Oh, you're fine."

Ghastly laughs lightly. "Valkyrie and Skulduggery think I need to reassess my life and be happy again," he says plainly, still laughing slightly. "They kidnapped me from my office and won't let me go."

Gordon nods once or twice and says, "From what I hear, you're a regular Scrooge."

"I am not!" he protests rather childishly.

"That is true, you are not. You're just deeply unhappy."

Ghastly tries to protest again, but Skulduggery swiftly turns and leaves the entryway. He hangs up his coat and hat and reclines in the large chair by the fireplace in the living room. He clicks his fingers and launches a fireball into the charred logs and watches them crackle and sizzle. Ghastly undoes the symbols on his neck and feels the fake sin trail down and disappear. He sits stiffly on the couch across from the Skulduggery and stares at the decorated mantle.

"Why is it that you're meeting Valkyrie tomorrow?" Ghastly asks casually, trying to break the silence. It's been silent for a little too long.

"The annual exchange of our awkward gifts that we got. We make sure to get the worst things each year for each other."

Ghastly laughs. Only those two! He looks hard at Skulduggery and watches him stare at the fire, looking deep in thought.

"Would you say that everyone needs to live for something?" Ghastly says, staring at him still.

The skeleton returns the gaze. "I suppose so, yes," he answers after a moment. "If you're simply living and nothing keeps you motivated, one might think you're not really living. In my opinion, at least. Why do you ask?"

"Someone said that to me," Ghastly says, "and it has me thinking about everything like a philosopher."

Skulduggery laughs quietly. "What is it you live for, Ghastly?"

"Indeed, I don't quite know. Do you have answer for that?"

"Most likely Valkyrie," Skulduggery responds almost automatically. "She is not my everything, but if I did not care for her and watch out for her, where would she be right now? Where would I be? I could certainly say that my life has not turned out and gotten better since she forced her way into it, but it has improved in ways one might not think."

"Do you think she feels the same way? That her life is better in ways with you in it?"

The skeleton shrugs. "Maybe. I can't answer for her, you know. She's met and kept many good friends because of me, I suppose. Of course, she's also almost died on multiple occasions because of me…but let's not get into _that_ aspect of our relationship."

"She's growing up fast," Ghastly says absently. "Do you plan to keep an eye on her forever? Will you let her run free with whoever she chooses?"

"Now that Caelan is dead, I don't have many qualms with who she chooses to romantically see or end up with in the end of this all." He pauses and dips his head. "We have great fears for the end of this all, Ghastly, so for now, I have to keep an eye on her. She doesn't particularly want to be protected, but I have to be the one to do so."

"Good thing you have no real life outside of all this," Ghastly quips and laughs.

"I bet I could pull off being a Frank Sinatra impersonator pretty well, wouldn't you say?" He examines his suit and hat and whistles a tune for a moment.

"Anyway, enough of your probing questions," Skulduggery adds later. "You're the one with the problems, Your Majesty. Who is it that you live for? And don't say Valkyrie; she's mine."

Ghastly briefly examines the implications of that claim over Valkyrie Cain. He would do that later when Valkyrie was there with them.

He thinks about Skulduggery's question and lists the people in his life. He thinks he has an answer, but before he can speak, Gordon flits into the room and starts talking about something else entirely.

Ghastly forgets about it for that moment.

* * *

><p>Ghastly looks up from his book as Valkyrie bursts through the door, with Skulduggery right behind her. They are each holding a horrifically wrapped present in their hands.<p>

"I want to see what's in it!"

"What? Are you five?"

"No, I just love Christmas."

"Ridiculous little child."

"Oh, thank you."

Valkyrie greets Ghastly warmly and hugs him tightly after setting her present down. Skulduggery sits back in the large armchair he lays a claim to and Valkyrie plops down on the floor happily. She sets the present from Skulduggery in her lap. Skulduggery shakes his own gift.

"Ready?" he asks her. They nod and both count to three and then tear off the wrapping paper.

Valkyrie reaches the gift first and pulls out the ugliest and most embarrassingly frilly pink nightgown. It is decorated with roses and bees and all sorts of nature related things. She shouts in disgust at it, laughing hard at the same time though.

"It's perfect!" she shouts and holds it to her body. "I'll sleep in it every night."

"I knew you'd love it," Skulduggery responds. He removes the lid off his gift and laughs for a few moments. He reaches in and pulls out a ridiculous shaving kit.

"Oh this is so practical for me," he says dryly, though obviously smiling.

Valkyrie beams and shrugs. "You need a shave, Skulduggery, I have to admit."

He sets the box to the side and gets up and hugs her tightly. They break apart when Ghastly clears his throat; that had been getting a little too close and long for comfort. Valkyrie smirks and turns to head to the kitchen. Skulduggery gives Ghastly a wary look, and Ghastly just smiles back. Skulduggery shakes his head and heads after Valkyrie in the kitchen.

Ghastly keeps smiling. He did realize something from this little hostage situation, he thinks. There is no way he is going to accept that Tanith is not coming back, but for now, he could make do with what he had.

He remembers the lyrics to that Christmas song: "_We'll have to muddle through somehow…_"

He hears Valkyrie laugh and gets up to join them.

* * *

><p>I hope you like this, guys. I haven't written anything in a while, I have to say. I have missed you all, though. I really do apologize for my incredibly long absence. My school is just…it's just crazy XD I'm not going to get into details, but it's been hard these past couple weeksmonths. I still love my life, though.

Christmas seems to have snuck up on everything this year, it seems. That's what it's like for my whole family at least. Though it's still a wonderful time for all. This is not my best, but it kind of reflects on what's been going on with my life lately; I really hope you guys like it. And my apologies for mistakes. I didn't have enough time to proofread it~

You don't know how excited I am for Christmas. It's really funny, because my twenty-one year old sister and I, fifteen – almost sixteen – are FREAKING out because we just want it to be Christmas morning already XD We want our parents to open their presents the most, though. We're fine with little presents, but my parents keep freaking out about.

I hope you all have been safe and happy while I've been away from writing and such. Send me a message if you want to have a chat – I like you people :3

I wish you all a happy holiday and merry Christmas this December~

With much love for all you nerdy fanfiction writers and skeleton lovers, NerdySkeleton


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